Radiant and Unabashed

It's good to have goals.  I've never articulated any "five year plan," but realize that certain decisions necessarily put me on a path to carry them out.  And the most difficult decisions, the ones that have been hardest for me, never came overnight.  Lots of procrastination and other "things" went into the mix, and percolated or ripened into something that became really, really sparklingly clear.  Then when the pieces fit together, and confusion about conflicting options was dispelled, I could put my hand to it.  


Ideally, it'd be great to say I've always moved  forward radiant and unabashed, but a review of the facts suggests that maybe unabashed is all I can claim. That time my flight circled over Dallas-Fort Worth provides an apt metaphorical description of other journeys completed: once  safely on the ground, welcoming friends saw me walking unassisted but looking whiter than the whitest sheet, anything but radiant! 


The thing that gets in the way is, I suppose,  wintering in my discontent. Thinking about that I pause, lest I unwittingly misuse Shakespeare, but I know I've been seriously disgruntled when I've had to assume the role of a grown-up, and put away childish things like timidity, fear, laziness, expectations of instant gratification and stupidly counting on someone else to step in and save me. Who likes being an orphan? That's a killer aspect of having to be a grown-up: actually parenting myself, knowing it all depends on me (nevertheless trusting it all to God, since I do believe there's a God). 


But admittedly, others definitely do save me little by little since no decision comes out of a vacuum. Every suggestion or bit of shared experience nudges the process.  The crushed  grapes are forced through winepresses, distilled in barrels, then bottled and corked and Voila! fine, aged wine! Somewhere in it there's a miracle, but turning grapes (or water) into wine always meets a need and requires fermentation.

Time often runs faster than I do, blurring and changing the world I know. But however slow  my pace during the marathon, I've set my goal to finish radiant and unabashed.  Then I'll leisurely savor that fine, aged wine!